Oh No It's The Comeback of the Cheap and Horrible and Just As Addictive Version of WoW

also known as Maplestory. Also known to as of very recently, releasing a iPhone app making it more accessible to iPhone addicts, and also so now you can play Maple in the toilet if you wanted.

It's not exactly the original Maple I heard, it's just a spinoff of the popular MMRPG.

Guys please do not request me to play Maplestory if you will, not even if it's not the official game you're talking about. I am not going to accept your request. This game has done horrible damage to my life. I cannot get back two whole years wasted on this stupid game. I quit close before the Cygnus Knights update was announced and I vowed never again to go on Maplestory. Even just to go online and sell my many items with my account which are quite valuable and together are probably are worth more than a couple of million mesos (I did consider it, but then I decided not to).

But ok. So you know, this is exactly how I wasted my life on this game;

• Getting to 3rd job as a priest by going on hacked Orbis party quests (you know, the one where you smuggle coupons into the PQ and then your levels shoot up. Ah, what a lot of fun)
• Getting past the million dollar meso mark
• Hacking my sister's account (after she stopped playing)
• Grinding for ten hours a day on Hoodoos and Voodoos (like a boss)
• Getting kill-stealed by assassins on Hoodoos and Voodoos (like a boss)
• Talking crap about no-dex assassins behind their back (like a boss)
• Training a gunslinger (like a boss)
• Having a no-dex assassin talk crap about my gunslinger (like a boss...seriously they should make a song on this)
• Getting all the maple weapons by mobbing slimes in the slime cave but never selling them
• Passed almost all the jump quests (except the one in Ludi), and can perform the first jump quest for 1st job in under three minutes.
• Dressing like a noob and then going to the Henesys Garden thing spamming the 3rd job priest eternal light mobbing attack thing
• Tricked a noob into getting pwned by C-Rogs on the ship
• Brought a noob all the way in the Sleepywood caves past the stupid giant thunder-summoning bear things to see Balrog (but he wasn't spawning! GRRR)
• Staying up so I could get the limited edition Genesis bandana in Mardia, then laughing at noobs when they want to buy it, but then realize they can't (U JELLY?)
• Spending hours in the Nexon store trying out all the outfits but never buying any of them
• Lurking on Sleepyville forums (was it called that?) and reading the badly made comics using Bannedstory
• Laughing about admin jokes or more so like about the lack of admins

In that time, I could have got a job, I could have gained better marks at school, I could have contributed more greatly to society by volunteering at the old folk's home, I wouldn't have grown into a sad pathetic cheater and liar that I was online etc. Ok, I could have done better things with my life, full-stop. I'm going to stop now before tears fall out my eyes...no joking, I don't miss Maplestory at all, really.

The Time I Almost Drowned

Sometimes I would look on my foot to see what scars I had on them. I have one on my right foot, which permanently has a band aid attached to it at the moment. One that is not there any more was a deep scar when I dashed my foot on the sharp rocks at Rottnest Island.

I remember clearly that I volunteered to go snorkelling for the primary school camp. I was nervous since I wasn't a great swimmer but I went nevertheless, and went in a team with the sports teacher to look at shipwrecks. It was amazing, and at one stage the teacher dived down to check a pipe underneath the water. I was submerged under as well, but just above the surface so I could breathe through the snorkel.

I was a bit stupid back then, and thought that snorkels could allow you to breathe underwater when you dived deeper in the water. So I tried diving as well. That was when I found out that clearly that was definitely how snorkels don't work; at once I swallowed a whole mouthful of salt water.

At that point the whole team had left to shore already, and I was alone in the ocean. And so I knew that I had to go back with them, but I started to panic. Not only was I abandoned I was trying to get my breath and getting the snorkel to work again. I tried so hard to maintain floating above the water while I emptied the tube on my snorkel, but only to end in avail as the water pushed me down again.

I got so worried, because no one was coming to get me. I was waving frantically but no one was paying attention. I felt I couldn't scream for help because I was submerged in the water half the time, and screaming would make me look ridiculous. So I put on a brave face, took off my snorkel and started to push myself towards the shore. I eventually got there, and the whole team was waiting above me on the rocky shore. Almost there, but not quite. I was still gasping for breath when the teacher arrived to pull me up. Floating among the rocks I tried grabbing on to an edge but I felt I had ran out of strength in my struggle. Finally the teacher decided to give a hand and pull me out of the water. I was saved; but while he pulled me up through rocks I managed to get a deep long cut on one of my feet.

First I was initially embarrassed that I was the only one drowning and every one else went on just fine, but eventually it was replaced with an overwhelming sense of relief that I had made it across to the shore without dying. All they did afterwards was place some ointment and sloppily chuck a band-aid over my cut. There was no fuss over what had just happened. Over the years I sometimes check to see if that impressive scar is still there. It's not there any more, but I imagine a faint one where the creases of my feet are.

I can say that experience could serve as a metaphor for almost all of my life battles.

Remember When Final Fantasy Was the Stuff?

Oh, the times where any jam session on the piano included having to play some Final Fantasy song like 'To Zanarkand", the times when I started drawing badly looking Yunas, Paiges and Rikkus all over my school work even if I never played the damn game. And it was like, 8 years ago and I had to stay at your house for a few weeks while my mum and dad was on holiday, and I watched you play Final Fantasy X-2. And then you showed me this clip of Yuna singing, and then you laughed at me because I was crying. But I assure you I wasn't, I was staring at the stupid TV screen (you know, back in the days when they weren't LCDs or plasma TVs) and my eyes started tearing up for staring at it for too long. I swear it isn't a excuse. I know it's funny though, it's like I'm cutting onions while watching Yuna sing.

Seriously, who's that girl with the long hair, why is Yuna singing? How the hell do I sympathise so much with Yuna by seeing her for the first time in my life give a emotional performance without the back context?