This post is about the Beyond Camp which I had a few days ago, or more as a church/youth retreat as known in America. All I'm going to do is list a few things I got out of the camp, that is all. A lot of it has to do strongly with religion and faith and is very personal, so if you are uncomfortable with this then do yourself a favour and don't read on.
Before I make any claims, I want to emphasize what happened pre-camp.
Obviously an evaluation of sorts includes something to do with the spiritual life so far. It was going downhill, and not really great of sorts, even if I made myself read Christian literature frequently. The huge difference compared to other pre-camp conditions of others was that I wasn't aware of how down and below my life was. A lot of people stopped going to church, praying and reading altogether and were aware of their conditions but I wasn't aware of how awful my spiritual life was, and frankly I didn't care.
I was probably in a deep slumber concerning anything to do with God, but I knew I had to try be at my peak anyway, so before camp I decided to stock up on even more Christian books and devotions. I would pray sometimes, but half-heartily, anything I did and heard went one ear and out the other. I was getting frustrated that I wasn't waking up, so I did pray half-heartily as usual for an experience. Then, it got to the point that one day I was reading Lee Strobel's 'The Case for Faith'. I got interested in apologetics after having to take the unit 'History and Theory of the Built Environment' which was basically one huge philosophy unit, and having read a lot of evidence against Christianity I felt it was time I tried to make sense of my faith. I started at the first chapter; 'Why does God allow suffering?'. I then was touched by Charles Tempelton's (a friend of Billy Graham) account of how he became an agnostic; he eventually lost his faith in God after seeing a picture of a starving African woman in a magazine and wondered why God would allow such suffering. Yet when Strobel asked Tempelton how much Jesus meant to him he went into a emotional outburst, saying that Jesus was the most important man in the world that he knew, and that he missed Him.
To me, this testimony of an agnostic really shook me. To this day I have heard people who similarly, like Tempelton had lost their faith but really long for Jesus. And I realized how precious faith toward Jesus really is.
Till then, I am in the process of trying to rationalise my faith, but also not just that, but wanting an experience from God. I wanted not just facts, but also wanted love and emotion. I longed for God to touch me and to make what I read just real, because I really couldn't stand by my faith any longer until I could speak personally of a God-given experience. To tell the truth, I wasn't consciously looking for it myself for camp, but I wished for others to seek God and find Him. That wish became true.
- Firstly I would start with the obvious; the speaker Geoff Westlake wanted to hit home the point that church is the 'half-time huddle'; the event when the church gets together to encourage the people before they get out into the world again to 'play the real game out in the football field' (apparently he's been watching a lot of football and planning to preach to a group of football lovers, which is why he has got a good amount of football metaphors in his talks). It was really a good reminder of how the Christian life is not a playground but a battlefield; and we should not concentrate on church numbers or how many people get saved, but to go out there and proclaim the word of God.
- I gave Casper two A.Z. Tozer books on his birthday. I had no idea that he would talk about those books so widely over the past month that it has had an effect on the committee and his close friends. I personally had not read the particular books he's read, although I've read other books by A.Z Tozer. However I had not expected such a change and I believe that God has been working through his life and others through these books, which I'm joyful for.
- On Monday Jon called for a worship session instead of night games. It was then that I feared that this camp was going to turn into an ordinary camp. I decided to pray by myself like I always did, and sat in a corner of a room. I forgot what I prayed for, but I was considering walking out of the session, and there was a voice in my head saying, 'You need to leave this place halfway during worship'. but afterwards Jon then said 'This will be an unforgettable moment in your life. Remember the date; 18th of July.' As soon as he finished saying this sentence the Spirit of God touched me and I started trying uncontrollably. I was not even feeling sad, traumatized or depressed about my life; yet tears started flowing. The moment that happened I was got so worried and nervous that all I could do was run out and cry even more. I wandered around the lake part of the camp site praying and eventually wrestled with my mind wondering what was happening. Eventually I heard a voice in my head telling me to 'leave this place'. I thought this was a cue to get back to the main hall so I did. When I entered I was greeted by a massive crowd of people on their knees, praying for each other. Tears started overflowing again, and some people prayed for God to help me, and in my state of mind through they were mistaking my crying for immense suffering which I wasn't experiencing in my thoughts, but possibly only in my soul. But I still believed I needed those prayers anyway. First I thought that the phenomenon was too weird for myself to understand but when I heard other people had experienced the exact same thing in this place I was convinced that this was definitely an act of God. In this case, Jon's predicament really became true, and it might be unlikely I could forget this amazing event.
- My chalet mates are passionate about missionary work. I am not however. I do like traveling to places, but I believe that I'm not strong enough, and I do not feel a strong calling to go out to remote places to do mission work, and really do think it's not for me.. However I do remember the time where I placed in the year book 'my mission in life is to go on a mission', and my friend took it as that I wanted to go on mission trips; turns out she was passionate about missions too. Seriously, what is with girls and loving mission trips so deeply? However I'd like to think that one day I'll find myself on a mission trip for stating that I wanted to go on a mission, even if I didn't really want to.
- So many people wanted to rededicate their lives to God after a praise session. It wasn't so much a mega-praise worship at the traditional sense, but it was more free-flow. Again, reminded of Templeton's account I was touched at how many people were genuinely desperate for Jesus. This time I wasn't so skeptical of their claims. I honestly wanted the best for them, and I whole heartily believed Jesus had a way for these people to come back to Him. I admired they had the strength to stand up for Him in a society that really opposes God and faith.
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